ADD SELF KINDNESS: how to soften unhelpful patterns in your life

Are you aware of patterns that aren't helping you feel calm and joyful in your life?

Perhaps it's eating a big dinner too late at night, and then you get heartburn and can't sleep? Or perhaps it's one too many drinks and as a result you can't focus the next day on your work? Or perhaps it's waking up too late or checking social media instead of doing the grounding morning ritual that sets you up for calm and focus that day? Or perhaps it's pushing your body and mind and not taking breaks so you're burnt out every day?

First of all, awareness is the first step, so pat yourself on the back if you've noticed something!

In order to soften these patterns you need self kindness. Recognize that when you default to an unhelpful pattern, it's for an understandable reason: stress, overwork, lack of sleep, perhaps lack of good influence or access to a supportive community. Recognize that this pattern has helped you do what you need to do to balance: relax, sleep, decompress at night, or slowly wake up in the morning.

Often we aren't aware of another blind spot pattern that is there when we engage in the patterning. This blind spot feeds the pattern and encourages the cycle to repeat.

For example, if you have a pattern of eating too much late at night and not being able to sleep because of it, when you engage in that pattern, you might also beat yourself up for eating late. So the blind spot, in that case, is self hatred. Beating yourself up only feeds the pattern and encourages the cycle to repeat.

So, if you can practice first showing yourself KINDNESS in the face of this pattern, especially just after you have initiated the pattern and when you would normally beat yourself up. This helps to soften the cycle.

I tried it this morning when my pattern came in. It worked! I felt much softer and gentler towards myself today, which then allowed me to have much more access to kindness for others!

We'll be working on re-patterning like this in our Self Care Course, beginning June 26th, 2021 (with optional rolling admission, if you see this too late). Join us for the Intro class June 19th, 2-4 pm EDT, which will repeat once a month.